What If
by Alice Night2
Summary: Okay So Here I Am One Of My OTP's VrisKan, There Are So This Is My Contri8ution So Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Homestuck

Staring out the window of the darkened hive I considered it to be depressing. The midnight moon shone overhead casting the dark luminous shadows everywhere, but especially my hive. The room I lived in was larger than my last one, due to days and days of arguing over who had who and who lived where in what.

Out of all the trolls, she had managed to be the only one without a hivemate. Sollux and Feferi had insisted on being together, and this of course caused Eridan to be with them. Even in my own depression, I felt bad for the forever Auspetice's. Terezi, Nepeta, and Jade ended up being together being the strongest trio of Moirails the universe had ever seen. Equius had been with Gamzee but being as Gamzee is, he demanded that Tavros would join them as his unsuspected Matesprite. John and Karkat turned out together, not as Kismesis, but as Matesprite. Obviously you would have to be a moron to not see that one coming. Aradia and Dave were together as Moirails but Dave and Terezi were Matesprites. It felt like every single troll and/or human had at least one quadrant filled up.

That is except her, Vriska Serket. The one pairing that I had not mentioned was Kanaya and Rose. For some reason, one that she would not admit, this had made her quite uncomfortable. Vriska had specifically chosen this hive just to be close to the two and to make sure that they weren't too friendly. From what she heard, their topics mostly consisted of topics she had no capacity for.  
>I sighed, staring out the window which was a stupid human thing to do but still helped her calm her nerves. Meanwhile I'll just go on Trollian to see if someone's online, that is worth talking to anyway. Vriska had a code not to talk to someone unless there was some sort of future benefit. Or just too plainly get your anger out in Tavros's case. <p>

Viewing the pal list, you see Eridan's online. And once he sees you, there's no getting out of it. Which of course his symbol came up immediately.

[caligulasAquarium began trolling arachnidsGrip at 9:32 pm]  
>CA: hey there Vvriska<br>AG: Yeeeeeeees? ::::)  
>CA: wwoww I'm going to be such a spazz for saying this out right...<br>AG: Get on with it Eridan. What does the royal prince want noooooooow?  
>CA: Howw many glub quadrants havve you filled?<br>AG: Dude, you realize that is pretty personal right?  
>CA: Yes and that's wwhy I called myself a spazz. But you don't havve to answwer wwho I just wwanted to knoww howw many<br>AG: Kismesis, Moirails  
>CA: didn't you havve an Auspetice wwith Kanaya and Tavvros? Or wwas it Kanaya and that Rose human<br>AG: Who told you that? I swear I will hunt down the person who said this  
>AG: and kill them making them regret the day they passed Vriska Serket! ::::  
>CA: uh it wwasn't me otherwwise wwhy else wwould I glub say that<br>[caligulasAquarium ceased trolling arachnidsGrip at 9:35 pm]  
>AG: finaaaaaaaally<p>

Getting off the computer, you wonder who had said those rumors. It certainly wasn't a high blood. They had all learned their lessons, leaving the low bloods. Aradia would never do such a childish thing. Tavros was too wimpy and was too scared to do such a thing, but of course you'll go troll him to get your anger out as you contemplate what's going on. Sollux was like Aradia and couldn't care less. Karkat didn't give a damn. Nepeta was too innocent, Kanaya wouldn't do that because she was in it herself, Leaving Terezi.

I could see Terezi doing this so clearly, she knew how to manipulate minds so well that Vriska herself felt weaker in comparison. But once again no way that she'd think that, let alone anyone else think that either. The rivalry was still strong even though Sgurb was over. She thought of ways to get back at the Seer of Mind and barely noticed that Kanaya had got on. You felt an unwelcome thrill of joy that you couldn't understand. You were mad at this person! Why would you be so damn happy to see her? But you give in as usual deciding to be nice to her for a change.

[arachnidsGrip began pestering grimAuxiliatrix at 9:38 pm]  
>AG: Hey Kanayaaaaaaaa! ::::)<br>GA: Hello Vriska What Have You Been Doing Lately  
>AG: Oh nothing much, you know me! It's 8een so long since I've seen yoooooooou!<br>GA: Well If You Like You Could Visit Our Hive Tomorrow That Is If You Even Want Too  
>AG: Of course I doooooooo! I'll 8e there and you can't stop me ;;;;)<br>GA: Well That's Nice To Know I'll Wait And In The Mean Time I Better Start Cleaning Up My Abode Goodbye Vriska  
>AG: 8ye! ::::D<br>[grimAuxiliatrix ceased trolling arachnidsGrip at 9:45 pm]

Vriska couldn't believe it. She had acted totally unlike herself and instead was nice and girly! What the hell was wrong with her? Frustrated she decided to troll Tavros like she had thought before. She couldn't stand the thought of him being happier than her. With Gamzee as a Matesprite and even a fairly decent Moirails too. Ughhhhhhhh 8luh 8luh 8luh...

[arachnidsGrip began trolling adiosToreador at 9:47 pm]  
>AG: Get onliiiiiiiine!<br>[adiosToreador replied to arachnidsGrip at 9:52]  
>AT: hEY VRISKA<br>AG: Why are you so happy? ::::(  
>AT: uM, hOW DID YOU, uM KNOW<br>AG: Its waaaaaaaay too obvious now shut up!  
>AT: gAMZEE AND RUFIO, uM TOLD NE TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF<br>AT: sO, uH, pLEASE STOP VRISKA  
>AG: D8n't t8ll m8 t8 88vk 8ff! You're just a low blood with a disgusting; nauseating c8l8r you call 8rown which is a pathetic 8xc8s8 for even a place on the Hemospectrum! D::::<br>AG: I'm gonna g8 to your hive and personally kill you 8f yo8 ever say that to me again, y88 got fucking got that?  
>AT: yES VRISKA!<br>[adiosToreador ceased being trolled by arachnidsGrip at 9:56 pm]

Vriska fumed walking around the room thinking about the recent events. Tavros was obviously getting too hard to control now. Gamzee and "Rufio" were giving him too much self-confidence. Vriska noted that she'd have to troll him more often in the future. Although she would need to be careful about Gamzee and also Equius if Gamzee's upset about it. She didn't want to do it, but she'd need Karkat's help, not for Tavros but for Kanaya and Rose. She found that no matter what she did or how pissed off she got at others, her thoughts always managed to slip back to Kanaya. And she hated it, but inside she felt abandoned.

[arachnidsGrip began trolling carcinoGeneticist at 10:02 pm]  
>AG: Karkat...<br>AG: It pains me to ask this, 8ut I need your advice. ::::/  
>[carcinoGeneticist replied to arachnidsGrip at 10:04 pm]<br>CG: WELL IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME. EVERYBODY HAS ASKED FOR MY ADVICE EXCEPT FOR SOL  
>CG: BUT THEN AGAIN I THINK HE DID<br>CG: SO WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND  
>AG: Wait, even Kanaya?<br>CG: YES HER TOO AND IT'S KANAYA ON YOUR MIND HMM?  
>AG: ...yes. Please don't laugh.<br>CG: OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IM LAUGHING HERE.  
>CG: IM LAUGHING SO HARD THAT JOHN THINKS THAT I'M DYING AND HE'S CALLING A FUNERAL PREIST HUMAN GUY. AND HE'S DECIDED TO FUCK HIMSELF NOW THAT IM GONE.<br>AG: Eeeeeeeew! That's gross Karkat!  
>CG: FINE THEN TELL ME WHATS WRONG<br>AG: Well, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. There's 8een rumors about Kanaya, Rose, and I that I just found out a8out tonight.  
>AG: And Tavros is getting too much self-confidence that I can't troll his ass as well anymore without an occasional death threat.<br>AG: Not to mention I'm 8eing waaaaaaaay too fucking nice to Kanaya and now I've 8een invited to their hive tomorrow and honestly I'm freaking out.  
>AG: Please help...<br>CG: WELL DO YOU THINK THAT YOU AND KANAYA ARE KISMESIS IF YOU'RE BEING NICE TO HER?  
>AG: No, not really.<br>CG: DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE MOIRAILS. ARE YOU OKAY WITH HER SHARING A HIVE WITH ROSE?  
>AG: I don't thinks it's just Moirails anymore. And yeah I do feel a little envious of Rose if that helps. I don't see how it does though. Moirails feel the same right?<br>CG: WELL IT LOOKS LIKE A PALE MATESPRITE BUT WITH ROSE IT WOULD BE A AUSPETICE.  
>AG: Auspetice! That's stupid Karkat! Why did I even consider your help? You're just making me moooooooore confused!<br>CG: ARE YOU REALLY JUST CONFUSED? OR ARE YOU JUST IN DENIAL?  
>AG: Well even if it was a Matesprite it would be paler then pale if that's what you're saying ::::  
>CG: OKAY LOOK I GOT TO GO SOON SO I'LL MAKE THIS SIMPLE.<br>CG: IT'S OBVIOUS YOU HAVE SOME SORT IF MATESPRITE WITH KANAYA WETHER YOU RECOGNIZE IT OR NOT.  
>CG: BUT I BET YOU'LL SEE IT ONCE YOU GO TO KANS HIVE TOMORROW<br>CG: SO SEE YOU SPIDERBITCH  
>AG: yeah whatever, 8ye<br>[carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling arachnidsGrip at 10:12 pm] 

Was it really true? Could she possibly be Matesprites with Kan? Wait she just used a fucking pet name for her! What's going to happen now? You decided not to worry about this till tomorrow. You climb into the soothing slime and try to clear your head.

All you felt was the tingling anticipation of seeing Kan tomorrow...


	2. Chapter 2

Homestuck 2

Getting up in the morning was a pain in the ass, to say the least. The world here was a lot like earth and the sun was still hard to get used to. Brushing my hair for my visit to Kans house was in a way, weird. She wondered if it was worth it to ask KK for advice again. Well it shouldn't hurt she sighed dejectedly.

[arachnidsGrip began trolling carcinoGeneticist at 11:08 am]  
>AG: Hey KK?<br>AG: I've 8een thinking a8out what you said last night; will I really know just 8y going to her hive?  
>[carcinoGeneticist replied to arachnidsGrip at 11:09]<br>CG: GOOD, GOOD  
>CG: BUT NO NOT ESSENTIALLY BUT IT MIGHT<br>CG: AND EVEN IF IT'S NOT THEN IT WILL SURE AS HELL HELP  
>AG: Reaaaaaaaally?<br>CG: IF IT WASN'T, THEN I WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK TO REPLY  
>AG: ...<br>AG: Is there a certain way I should act? If that's what you're tryinnnnnnnng to say?  
>CG: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT FROM? BUT NO JUST BE YOURSELF<br>CG: IF THEY DONT LIKE IT THEN FUCK THEM, YOU'RE PROBABLY BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM  
>AG: You're acting a lot weirder since you started sharing a hive with John<br>AG: Or else you would deny me, and start yelling at how pathetic of a 8lue 8lood I am  
>AG: and then start ranting a8out either me or your past and future self<br>CG: I AM NOT THAT DRAMATIC! YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU! FUCK YOU VRISKA IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY HELP  
>CG: THEN DIE IN A PILE OF SHIT AND I'LL BE THE ONE DANCING ON YOUR GRAVE!<br>AG: there's the KK I knoooooooow!  
>AG: and I just wanted to say I do appreciate your help<p>

AG: Wow….. I guess you're not the only one who has changed what the hell?

AG: Fuuuuuuuuck  
>[arachnidsGrip ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist at 11:21 am]<br>CG: WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH HER?

Cataphaloguing the computer I journeyed to Kans house which thankfully was a short time away. Once again Vriska had made sure of that. She secretly wished that it would be the way Mindfang had it. Dolorosa was her servant and possessed her to love her, but Dolorosa had loved her anyway so it was perfect for her. **(A little twist to Mindfang's journal, but not by much ~.^ also I don't think it was changed… sweeeeeeeet)** She finally reached Kanaya's hive and felt humongous amount of turmoil twist up inside her. Approaching the door, she didn't know what made her do it but it definitely wasn't by her own will, she pushed the little button known as the "doorbell" which would make a noise loud enough for anyone could hear from inside the hive. Weird really, she personally thought that having one of those would annoy the hell out of her but she admits that it would save the trouble for having to check her Trollian account everyday... Not like she didn't already but it didn't matter her universe was destroyed anyway. The door swung open revealing Kanaya's beautiful face. Her green/black lipstick shone in the dim light of the sun and her green eyes struck the cold heart that lay inside her, thawing it.

Vriska's heart pounded...


	3. Chapter 3

Homestuck 3 

"Oh Hello Vriska You're Here Early" Kanaya smiled sweetly. It was a smile that made Vriska's heard shudder and skip a beat.

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

"O-oh am I too early?" she winced at her voice. It was unnaturally higher. Kans eyes narrowed in confusion.

"No Of Course Not That Is Why I Made Sure To Clean Up Last Night Although Rose Wasn't Too Happy With The Constant Noises But I'm Glad I Did" Vriska felt all of her emotions turn black at the witch's name. She didn't deserve to be Kanaya's hivemate if she didn't appreciate her being thoughtful to others. But her once black emotions turned good again. She hated the way Kan could play with her like that. It was like Terezi was right behind her so she couldn't see her. But wait- Kanaya was glad that she had to go through cleaning up her hive with her hivemate; she still refused to say her name, complained about it? Hope sparked up into her; perhaps Vriska's chance didn't go away.

"Really?"

"Of Course Come In" She waved her hand signaling for her to go inside. Kans hive was very large like her old one. And just like her one back one Alterania; she had created some of her old things so she could feel like she was back at home.  
>"Your hive is amaaaaaaaazing!" Vriska enthused "It looks a lot like your old one too, 8ut so much more room"<p>

"Thanks Vriska I Always Loved Your Compliments You Know" a pale shade of jade colored Kanaya's cheeks as she blushed. She thought it was the most beautiful color in the world. It felt so much better knowing that it was because of her.

"Why?" she felt the urge to slap herself. Why couldn't she just accept the compliment instead of having to get the last word?

"Well It's Because You Don't Say Many Compliments Unless They're Either Real Or Fake Just To Get Profit Out Of It I Personally Can't See What You Could Get Out Of Complimenting Me So I'm Guessing Its Real"

"Awwwwwwww don't sell yourself too short! 8ut yes you're right, it was real" it was Vriska's turn to blush this time coloring her in a light shade of blue.

"A-anyway Would You Like Anything That I Could Provide You With?"

"Oh I'm good thanks!"

"You Seem A Lot Happier After Sgurb Did Anything Happen"

"Ahh no not reeeeeeeeally,"_ 'Yes_ ' Her heart screamed "Just glad it's finally over and that we're not dead"

"Yes I Share The Same Feeling That You Have I Am Very Glad That We Lived Up To This Moment And I Can Honestly Say That I've Had A Great Time" Kanaya lead Vriska to the white couch in the middle of the room. Vriska followed like a little lost puppy and say down with Kan when she fell to the sofa.

"Me too. It seems really quiet here, is that 8i- is Rose here?" Vriska asked almost covering up her mistake by accidentally almost calling her a bitch. Not that she wasn't but still, she couldn't say that in front of Kan. And notice I said almost, in fact I said it twice. Kanaya looked up and studied Vriska's face searching for answers as to what she said or why she was so happy. Finding no answers Kanaya replied.

"No She Is Not She Has Been Busy I Don't Know Exactly What," Vriska raised her eyebrow in question "Yes Even Though I Live In The Same Hive Doesn't Mean We Are Not Inseparably Close"

"Of course! It's fine to have a Moirail you can live with"

"Oh Yes Even Though We Do Not Discuss Work We Do Seem To Have A Pale Matesprite"

"O-oh you do... I didn't see sorry" Vriska looked away trying to cover the feelings that had just plummeted down even further.

"Vriska Are You Okay" Kanaya moved closer putting her beautiful, well manicured hand onto my forehead. At this, my skin felt like it was on fire. No, not even that. It felt like an electric current ran through her body, and she loved it.

"Mmmmmmmm… Yes I'm fiiiiiiiine!" Vriska had fallen into the warm feeling coming from her hand. Unlike most trolls, Kanaya didn't mind the sun meaning that she was much warmer than the others which tended to be ice cold.

"You Don't Seem Okay Ever Since You Walked In Though The Door You're Emotions Keep Changing Impossibly Fast" Fuck! Kanaya did notice, somewhere in Vriska's mind she knew that this would happen. But it didn't mean that it helped her.

"Well I gueeeeeeees I could've 8een a 8it jumpy 8ut I'm just guessing that everyone might 8e the same"

"Yes That May Be True But That Doesn't Have A Direct Influence That Might I Say Able To Effect Personal Problems Or Feelings After The Fact"

"Fine! You caught me okay? Are you happy now?"

"Caught You In What?"

"This, me coming over to your house"

"I Fail To See The Problem In That Are You Saying That You Didn't Want To Come" Kanaya had a hurt look in her green eyes.

"Oh course not! It's that I enjoy it more than I should….."

"Yes You Can Tell Me Anything"

"Please don't make me say it" Vriska closed her eyes; she couldn't bear to see the beautiful pleading eyes of Kanaya's. The next few seconds were silence; Vriska took the chance of opening one of her eyes. That had been her mistake, the one that would eventually lead to her downfall. But instantly she was reminded of how close they were, it was natural. Everything about Kan made Vriska feel flushed for her even more as she thought about it. Those stunning eyes, she hoped one day that they would gaze solely on her. Maybe that day was today? There was one way of finding out.

"I'm flushed for you Kanaya"


	4. Chapter 4

Homestuck 4

Kanaya stared at her completely shocked at her statement. Even though Vriska knew that Kanaya was thinking about all the options of things that could be troubling her, that definitely wasn't it.

"Vriska..."

You could see the hurt in her eyes. According to Karkat from past conversations, Kanaya had felt flushed for her too but I had been with Tavros. She felt horrible because Vriska had never meant to be with Tavros. He just seemed scared shitless and she couldn't resist screwing up his emotions even more. But she had no idea that Kanaya felt that way. And as soon as she had finally moved on, here comes Vriska crawling back.

"I'm so sorry Kanaya. I'll go" Vriska stood up and ran out the door. Even before she was halfway out the door, she felt tears forming in her eyes. Once she was safely outside, she raced to her own hive. The wind blew her hair out behind her and forced the tears off my face as they came in trails. Vriska had known that she had always been the misunderstood bitch that no one cared about. And to an extent she didn't care about them either. She had never thought of being with someone else.

Reaching the hive, Vriska locked herself inside. She had cried for the entire night. She ignored all the messages from the trolls. And after two days they figured out that something wasn't right, that Vriska should have replied to at least someone by now.

Lying down on the floor, she had found that the slime wasn't doing any good to soothe her problems, she had finally stopped crying but now she felt empty. Apparently the news had even gotten to the humans that something wasn't right. There were frequent incoming messages from John, seeing as she is his patron troll, and a few from the evil bitch who took Kan away too, asking what the hell happened.

Kanaya seemed to have had the same issue as Vriska. Kanaya didn't talk to anyone, wouldn't come out of her room, and didn't troll anyone on Trollian. Karkat figured out that whatever happened wasn't good and was pestering me frequently too, along with John.

This went on for a while until she heard a knock on the door. Not even bothering to get up, she just lay there hoping whoever it was would go away. She heard steps coming up the stairs; clearly they didn't get the message. The door to the room slightly pushed open. Appearing from behind the door was…

"Kanaya!" Vriska sat up abruptly stunned that Kan came over, even after what she said.

"Vriska I've Been Thinking About What You Said And I'm Still Not Sure Of What I'm Feeling At The Moment"

Kanaya looked away as if to contemplate what she just said. Evaluating what to say slowly and precisely.

"You don't have to say anything I don't mind. I've had two days to get used to it and I think I'm fine"

"Cutting Yourself Off From Civilization Is Not What I Call Fine Look What I'm Trying To Say Is I Don't Know What To Do Anymore You Were Always The Leader Whether Karkat Knew It Or Not You Were Like The Person Who Secured The Bonds Not Ruin Them As The Humans Say What Doesn't Kill You Only Makes You Stronger" Kanaya rambled. She always did that when she was nervous. Vriska thought it was cute, but it didn't matter anymore.

"I Thought I Was Flushed For You But When I Saw You With Tavros It Felt Like My Heart Was Ripped Out And Then I Always Had To Compete With Eridan Because He Was You Past Ancestors Kismesis While Mine Was Just A Lowly Servant I Couldn't Find A Way To Anything I Was The Lonely Person With Nothing Left"

Hearing all of this was heartbreaking. She had never thought of what else had happened. Pale jade tears rolled down Kanaya's face, Vriska had never seen Kanaya cry, let alone show her true emotions and thoughts to anyone before.

"And Just When I Find Ground Again I'm Attacked So To Say With My Biggest 'What If' What If I Was More Persistent What If I Could Get My Life Back What If I Could Get You Back"

"...Kan... I'm so sorry. I didn't think that it would happen this way. I was too caught up in tormenting fucking Tavros that I missed so many things. I h8te myself for torturing you. And only now do I see what has 8een going on. I have no idea what my shitty feelings are telling me now. I only know that I feel red for you and my chance was already long gone and yet I'm still not sure that there was a chance at all. It's just confusing the hell out of me. I trapped myself off so I couldn't talk to anyone. I needed time alone to think a8out all the shitty mistakes I made. It all wasn't real to me until you showed it to me. I'm so sorry you've always 8een the victim of my crimes and yet always there for me. And I don't know where the hell I would 8e without you. I might've still 8een the emotionless 8itch that everyone h8s. 8ut Kan I really do like you 8ut there's no way I could make it up to yo-" Kanaya leaned into her pressing her soft lips against hers. Kanaya's lips were even softer then Vriska had imagined them to be. Heat rushed through her body as Kanaya kissed her.

"And You Say That I Ramble Too Much" Kan whispered into her ear as she pulled away. Vriska's body trembled.

"Kanaya," Vriska started at a loss for words.

"Don't Be Sorry It'll Be Fine I Think It's Fair To Say That I'm Flushed For You Too" Kanaya smiled sweetly barely containing her happiness as she walked out the door.

Everything is going to be fine.


End file.
